Fantastic Feasts and Where To Find Them: Giga Pudding Failure

It’s rather fitting that I have to read Moby Dick for my American Literature class right about now. My entire post can be summed up in a neat little quote about whales:

The White Whale swam before him as the monomaniac incarnation of all those malicious agencies which some deep men feel eating in them, till they are left living on with half a heart and half a lung.

Of course, you need to replace “White Whale” with “oversized pudding” and then it would be perfect. Just perfect.

Because I am obsessed with Giga Pudding. I crave to have one, somehow, someday. So I thought it would be cool to try and make one; I’m an okay cook so I can manage on my skills alone. Right? Right?

What could possibly go wrong with the construction of a giant pudding?

So for those of you who do not know (And how can you not? Get with the times, man) what a Giga Pudding is, we have just for you a very educational video explaining everything:

The long and the short of it is thus: Giga Pudding is an instant-pudding mix set that creates an oversized serving of pudding to be enjoyed by many people. I heard it was intended to be an economical solution to buying a giant cake; and I’ve also heard that it tastes terrible. But from the moment I was redirected to this video I couldn’t help but fall in love.

Whoever came up with the idea behind this commercial and its simple, yet bizarrely addictive song is a marketing genius. There’s no way you can forget “Pudi, pudi, pudi” after hearing it once, and then there is that whimsical self-canibalising mascot. And then there’s the way that the pudding jiggles and shakes; have you ever seen pudding move so finely? This pudding also promises that productivity will increase if you and your general staff eat some of this stuff — what’s not to love about that?

So as you can plainly see, there’s a whole marketing strategy behind Giga Pudding that makes it stick with you. And, for some of us, this quirky, catchy little jingle because something more — a craving, an obsession to try this pudding and all the sunshine and happiness it promises.

OF COURSE, it’s only available in Japan and cannot be exported outside due to some food safety hullaballoo (Even though it’s just instant pudding mix). That has not stopped people from trying, just like these brave fellows who literally made a batch of Giga Pudding in a bucket.

Inspired by these brave attempts to recreate this leviathan of monstrous puddings, I too endeavored to capture the beauty that is the Giga Pudding. But, even pure intentions do not yield beautiful results…

But despite my promises to make a batch of Giga Pudding I will say that the project ended in a perplexing disaster (Which is why I won’t bother with a recipe). And well, you’ll see why.

I assumed that the right way to attack it would be by just grabbing four packets of pudding mix, mixing it all together according to the directions (And a bit of vanilla added for extra flavor) and then dumping it into a container of some sort before putting it into the fridge for some much needed rest and that would be all well and good. I am not a slouch when it comes to making homemade leche flan, one of the favorite desserts of the Philippines, so I figured: AW HAY INSTANT FLAN MIX WON’T BE A PROBLEM RIGHT? RIGHT.

Such arrogance was only the start of my hubris. 

As you can see everything started out normally.

 

I followed the directions; I deposited my mysterious caramel-topping goop into the desired container. Then I mixed up the pudding mix with some milk and a touch of vanilla — maybe I shouldn’t have tried to tamper with the pudding mix gods’ creation? I know it only said add milk but I wanted to kick up the flavor too…

WELL

WELL

I did everything the pudding gods asked for and yet this morning this is what I was greeted with when I went into the fridge to check on my creation:

I know. Super. SUPER GRODY. This is not the pudding I was promised, this was not the pudding that I wanted. Where did I go wrong? Seriously, ugh. Was it because the pudding mix was about one dollar? Should I have found something better quality? Did I overmix?

Is this all some sort of allegory for the ship of state? Was I destined to fail after I made a good attempt at deep fried ice-cream?

Whatever the reason — I am sad to say, dear friends and readers at MoarPowah, but I failed. I failed rather hard from the looks of it. (I mean, it jiggles really nicely at least, I tried)

But… Even though I have not reached Giga Pudding nirvana just yet, this is FAR from my last attempt at it. I need to regroup, need to amass a new crew of ingredients; maybe actually try it the way I wanted to in the first place, by trying to cook a giant leche flan.

But for now, I need to scramble to come up with something else to feed ten people I promised pudding — pudding starts with ‘P’ which rhymes with ‘pizza’ soooo maybe that will appease the hungry masses I promised rainbow and sunshine to…

Well tune in next week for a less-fail recipe; and for those of you who follow me regularly, do you have any suggestions and requests? I’m open to those too!

And this pretty much sums up how I feel right now; replace the whale with a pudding though

 

– EDIT – 4/14/12

In the wake of my failure, I still brought out the pudding for my friends to eat…

And you know what?

It actually tasted good.  The only problem is that it looks rather disgusting, but like any good book, looks can be deceiving and this pudding pile of poop actually was culinary genius; there is no more grody pudding sitting in my fridge.

😀 A GOOD END TO THIS WHALE OF A TALE

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Fenrir

A would-be anthropologist, writer, food historian, and professional glutton hoping to combine fandom with her love of food. Ever wondered what a nug tasted like? Is butterbeer alcoholic? If you've asked such questions and are already drooling at the thought of a big old plate of lembas bread, then you're in the right place

Latest posts by Fenrir (see all)

Fenrir

A would-be anthropologist, writer, food historian, and professional glutton hoping to combine fandom with her love of food. Ever wondered what a nug tasted like? Is butterbeer alcoholic? If you've asked such questions and are already drooling at the thought of a big old plate of lembas bread, then you're in the right place