There comes a time in every critic’s life…wait I used this already. Umm…there comes a time in every college student’s life when your brain has been friend like an egg because of papers and exams. And I, dear readers, hit that wall yesterday.
But I can’t just not blog – it’s just not in my nature to leave any wandering eyes without something to read and/or laugh at. So instead, I’m going to take a cue from Lindsay Ellis, aka the Nostalgia Chick and reveal my deepest and more shameful secret – my own person guilty pleasures movie list.
Guys, on this very special Manic Movie Magic, it’s about to get ugly.
5) X-Men Origins: Wolverine
I’m just going to say it – I don’t see what is so bad about this movie. I have seen it at least nine different times and enjoyed each one. It probably doesn’t help that I love Hugh Jackman and in my eyes he can do no wrong, but I genuinely don’t see what people dislike this film. The plot I thought was good, the directing is solid, the characters are fun, and it’s everything I wanted in this movie – Wolverine’s story. Sure, it might be one of the worst of the X-Men movie series, but just cause it’s at the bottom doesn’t make it bad. Honestly, I will own this on DVD someday. No one can stop me.
A terrible remake, it follows the tale of a sadsack who makes a deal with the devil to try and get with this one girl in his office that he just can’t talk to. So, he goes through all the dumb wishes to try to win her affection before he figures out that no matter what, the devil can’t get you laid. It’s a silly movie, with a senseless plot, and all the same predictable twists and turns.
…but the scenarios are a ton of fun, and are very well designed and thought out. Elizabeth Hurley is in prime form as the sexy, sultry, and all over evil Satan, and hey, Brendan Frasier is fits really well into the role. The film is shiny, and comes to a somewhat satisfying ending, though it would have been fun to see the woobie just finally fall in the pit of eternal fire.
3) The New Guy
And here’s where the list starts getting downright embarrassing. For a year or two of my life, I loved this movie. I was 12. Maybe it’s the unfunny humor, the easily distinguishable stereotypes, or even jus the fact that it’s a weird amalgamation of every guy’s revenge daydreams. But something in there sort of stuck. The movie is overall made of stupid, which is why as a 12 year old, I loved it.
Hell if its on TV, I’m going to watch – no joke. The entire way through, unironically. And I have literally, LITERALLY no clue why. I just feel like this is what I wanted high school to be – a victory. What it ended up being was just one long emotional rollercoaster. But in the end, while the acting is bad, the writing cliché, and not-fancifl-enough-white-trashitude, I still think it’s an enjoyable watch.
2) Charlie’s Angels 2: Full Throttle
Don’t even get me started on this one. I mean, this is considered one of the worst blockbuster sequels to date, and it has three good actresses completely and totally failing. The plot is stupid, and a little rape-y to be honest, and Demi Moore looked like someone left her out to dry in the Sun too long. I mean, the costumes and situations are beyond silly, and even Bill Murray knew better than to come back for this.
…but then there are some good ideas behind it. A bitter, revenge-seeking ex-Angel? A list of relocated persons up for sale to the people who got put in jail because of them? The idea of a tight group of friends falling apart? All pretty solid. The music was great, the cinematography pretty fun, and hell, even the dance number at the school reunion was adorable. I can’t help but like this movie cause I love the combo of Liu, Barrymore and Diaz – they have just great chemistry, and the action, however silly, is still topnotch.
1) Practical Magic
This movie is the lowest of the low. It’s plot is weird and contrived even for a romantic comedy, the main leads are somewhat miscast, and the writing and soundtrack is something you’d associate more with a paper-back romantic novel, not a blockbuster movie. It’s trashy, lame, poorly constructed…
…and I love it. I don’t know why! Maybe it’s the lovely colors and cinematography. Maybe it’s the fact that it does remind of paperback romance novels that I am way too proud to read. Maybe it’s just cause Sandra Bullock makes most movies better, and Nicole Kidman isn’t playing Nicole Kidman’s serious face. And it’s even so bad it’s got no camp-factor so all I feel watching it is the sweet, sickening syrup of shame every time its on TV.
Next week…well…who knows what going down next week. I may be a turnip for all I know. SURPRISE REVIEW IT IS!