Manic Movie Magic: August 2012 Blockbuster Guide

Let’s continue on with our coverage for the final month of our summer 2012 blockbuster coverage! It’s been a long road a comin’ so lets finish strong!

8/3

The Bourne Legacy

Plot: Jason Bourne wasn’t the only subject in the experiment to create the perfect soldier, and so we have Jeremy Renner as….another random super soldier, finding out the horrible truth and fleeing for his life.

Pros: It looks like a clean cut, clear action movie, and J.R. is riding high on his recent Avengers role, so this film won’t crash his career if it flops. Plus, it could be good, there’s no reason it won’t be.

Cons: It doesn’t have a heavy connection to the Bourne series and I don’t know how the fans feel about it. Personally, it just seems like they are trying to cash in on the name.

Verdict: Meh, catch it on DVD.  I personally can’t even believe they even made another one of these. How long can they keep this plot thread going? And really, are there people still out there?

Total Recall

Plot: It’s a remake of the original Total Recall, except with a more technologically advanced future and better effects…probably.

Pros: Big name actors, cool new tech, big budget action – everything you’d want in an action/sci-fi remake. While Jessica Biel might seem like a weird choice, I’m going to count my blessings, as it could have been worse.

Cons: What more can you bring to Total Recall besides a new look? I mean, sure, it’s cool and all, but I don’t know if I loved that original that much to see the new version on if before it comes out on HBO.

Verdict: Watch the original. It’ll probably be better. This looks like another useless remake to make a couple of dollars for the studio. I’m not saying that it’ll be bad but I don’t think it’ll be any better than the original. And I’m sure you can find it on Netflix too. I might be wrong, but I’m not spending the money to find out.

 

8/10

The Campaign

Plot: Two men, the incumbent and a local nobody, run for congressional office in a small town, trying to comically best each other.

Pros: It looks funny, and Galifianakis hasn’t had a major bust in terms of films, even in The Hangover 2, and it’s a pretty ingenious and apt film for an election year.

Cons: Will Ferrell has been hit and miss, and with Anchorman 2 on the way, it may be better to wait.

Verdict: Not sure just yet…. Ferrell has made a lot of bad movies, but he does have enough big successes that with powerhouse Galifianakis this could be the comedy to see this summer.

 

8/15

The Odd Life of Timothy Green

Plot: A couple who can’t have children “create” one with descriptions on paper and bury it in their garden. A magical storm creates Timonthy, their perfect child who appears to also be part plant.

Pros: This is a pretty original concept and it seems that the topic of children and infertility are being taken very seriously.

Cons: Kind of a depressing film which has somewhat of a mixed tone, no big name actors save for Jennifer Gardener, and very bizarre plot, even if it is unique.

Verdict: Pass…entirely. This movie is the ultimate sobfest. I am not entirely sure who it’s made for. It seems a little too depressing for kids, and a little too cutesy for adults. So who’s going to see this? Who’s its target audience? Whoever they are, I’m not one of them.

 

8/17

The Expendables 2

Plot: Explosions. Lots of guns. Cheesy catchphrases. More explosions.           

Pros: It has every action star in Hollywood’s arsenal. All the iconic ones anyway. Reason enough just to be impressed by the sheer amount of pulling power the casting agent has.

Cons: I’m doubting there’s much of a real plot there, so unless you’re a person who can shut off you plot-seeking

Verdict: Why not? Even brainy critics like me occasionally want to see something a little mindless and fun, and if I was going to do it on any movie this blockbuster season, it would probably be this one. So, hey, if you’re bored, why not? Seriously – it looks like a fun time at the very least.

 

ParaNorman

Plot: A young boy who can see ghosts must battle the ghost of an evil witch who has begun raising the dead.

Pros: Cool looking animation, fun story, some funny little references to other horror movies, and a lot of fun looking character designs.

Cons: It kind of feels a little like a Coraline ripoff. Just a little bit. And it looks a little too childish for an older audience.

Verdict: Hmmm…It doesn’t seem like a stand out film, but with Brave being just a little bit of a disappointment, it might not be the best summer for animated films which is a real shame. But, if someone mentioned that they wanted to go, I wouldn’t say no, if only just to see how it all turned out.

 

8/24

Premium Rush

Plot: A bike delivery boy receives a mysterious package and must prevent it from being stolen before it reaches its intended destination.

Pros: Big name actors, somewhat original in its premise, and good use of its setting. After all, it looks like the main character is going to have to bike all around the city, so at least it’ll look nice. 

Cons: Bikes? Really? I can understand the thrill of a car chase movie, a racing one. Hell even boats could be made interesting. But bikes? The only reason it’s any bit entertaining its cause they are pedaling away from cars.

Verdict: Thanks, but no. Unless this things get some stellar reviews it looks like a bit of a cheap action film that’s trying to bank on Joseph Gordon Levitt’s fame. And…really? BIKES?

 

The Apparition

Plot:  A group of scientists discover that not only are ghosts products of the mind, but that the “idea” that causes them to exists spreads like a virus and then kills each person.

Pros: Tom Felton. 

Cons: Everything else. At least as far as I can see from the trailer. After all, the plot lots like its got as many holes as a pair of fishnet stockings.

Verdict: …meeehhhh. I can’t tell if this is going to be like the colossal flop it looks like, or if it’s going to be a super sleep hit. I have seen bigger turn arounds occur, like with The Hangover so anything is possible at this point.

 

8/31

The Possession

Plot: A little girl gets an evil wooden box at a garage sale and gets possessed by a child-stealing demon.

Pros: Cool looking effects, interesting storyline, and it gets points for actually using some Jewish dogma rather than the typical Christian one. Good actors, and solid directing it seems.

Cons: It’s yet another exorcism story, and those have a very limited appeal. What’s worse still is that it’s one that features a little girl…again. It seems just a little too clichéd at this point to really be anything that stands alone.

Verdict: Been there, seen that. ANOTHER possession movie? Yes, you rarely see a movie that has a Jewish-oriented exorcism but really, haven’t we all seen this movie before? At least three times? Unless the reviews for this turn out to be amazing, I’m going to pass on this. The Exorcist did it better.

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Starshine5050

As just a regular, hard-working work, often-stressing, procrastination-mastering history and journalism student, I often turn to the silver and small screens for relief, even though I'm only an average cinema-and-television loving viewer, commenting on what, and does not, makes good entertainment. I love horror everything - book, TV shows, games, movies - even though they frighten me terribly. I'm a long time believer of the old saying "When life gives you lemons, don't take life's lemons! Give the lemons back!" So, onward I go, returning lemons and logging an unhealthy amount of screen time for your enjoyment. So please be sure to read my stuff and let me know what you think, I'm alway looking to improve and be the best, most cynical critic I can be!

Latest posts by Starshine5050 (see all)

Starshine5050

As just a regular, hard-working work, often-stressing, procrastination-mastering history and journalism student, I often turn to the silver and small screens for relief, even though I'm only an average cinema-and-television loving viewer, commenting on what, and does not, makes good entertainment. I love horror everything - book, TV shows, games, movies - even though they frighten me terribly. I'm a long time believer of the old saying "When life gives you lemons, don't take life's lemons! Give the lemons back!" So, onward I go, returning lemons and logging an unhealthy amount of screen time for your enjoyment. So please be sure to read my stuff and let me know what you think, I'm alway looking to improve and be the best, most cynical critic I can be!

2 Comments:

  1. :U August looks like a downer in terms of movies, and after being spoiled by The Avengers and (hopefully) Batman I think it's safe to say that we can all steer clear of the movie theater next month.
    SAVE ALL THE MONEY FOR THE WINTER LINE-UP: The Guardians, Wreck-it-Ralph, Les Mis, and The Hobbit!

  2. Pingback: Paranorman Review | Moar Powah!

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