No, dammit! TIS NOT CHRISTMAS YET! I refuse to do Christmas movies until December 1 hits, and that’s not til tomorrow! NO CHRISTMAS MOVIE REVIEWS FOR YOU!
Sadly, this also means my choices for relevant movies are equally as tiny. I mean the only thing playing that would even remotely fit the category of this respectable column would be the last Twilight movie or Life of Pi. If you don’t already understand why that first one isn’t an option, please go outside and interact with the world so you can see why people think it’s a “classic love story.” If so, warning, be prepared to be shocked. While Life of Pi isn’t as intellectually insulting as the first, doesn’t seem like my cup of tea. There’s also The Collection, but come on guys, I need to be able to sleep to write these things, and I can’t do that while I’m plagued by nightmares!
So what did I choose to fuel my horrible dreams instead? Why the first half decent thing I could find on Netflix. Paranormal Activity 3 it is.