Objection! – The 86th Academy Awards Results

Starshine5050Welcome once again to another rousing rendition of Objection! I’m Starshine.

ElessarAnd I’m…someone. Elessar I think? That sounds right.

Starshine5050And today we’re hear to discuss the Oscars results. Now Elessar, wouldn’t you agree this year’s event was definitely an interesting one?

ElessarIt was indeed. Well the actually wins were quite interesting. The ceremony was kind of meh overall, but hey the movies I wanted to win won, so I ain’t complaining.

Starshine5050True that! Speaking of wins, who was your favorite winner of the night?

oscar-statue

ElessarWell given that I named 12 Years a Slave as the best film of 2013 and it won Best Picture, how about I go with that. How about you?

Starshine5050: I definitely think Lupita Nyong’o’s win is a huge step forward in terms of media representation of minorities and the much deserved recognition of the year’s most heart-wrenching performance.

ElessarI can definitely agree with that. If anyone else had won, including June Squibb, I would have been livid. But given that my best movies of 2011 and 2012 (Drive and Cloud Atlas, respectively) weren’t even nominated for anything major, seeing my best film of 2013 take home the big prize is enormously satisfying.

Starshine5050Not to mention American Hustle was all set to sweep the categories but thankfully was held back. How about biggest snubs in terms of wins?

ElessarI think Barkhad Abdi not taking home Supporting Actor was kind of disappointing. Honestly, I’m okay with both Leto and McConnaghey winning, but they’re only one step above an American Hustle win. Any of the other 3 non-Hustle nominees would have been a better choice.

Starshine5050I definitely think McConnaghey was a poor choice for the best actor selection. I would have much rather have seen it gone to Chiwetel Ejiofor, or even Bruce Dern. I’m also not enamored with the best actress win.

Doesn't he look upset about losing?

Doesn’t he look upset about losing?

ElessarChiwetel Ejiofor or Bruce Dern would definitely have been better choices. Hell, even DiCaprio would have been a good choice, if only to shut people up about the fact that he hasn’t won. As for Blanchette…eh? Still haven’t seen it, or any of the other nominees besides Hustle, so I don’t have much of an opinion.

Starshine5050Let’s move onto the speeches — whose do you think were the best and worst?

ElessarObviously the best speech of Lupita’s, she was absolutely amazing. Although Spike Lee’s was pretty good too; Can you believe it took him this freaking long to win an Oscar?

Worst would probably have to be Leto. I’ve tried to avoid the controversy about him not being a transwoman despite playing one, since I’ve accepted things like Blanchette playing Bob Dylan before, but he seemed a tiny bit too enamored with himself and not overly concerned with the issue. How about you?

Jonze brought us this classic image; How could he not have won before now?

Jonze brought us this classic image; How could he not have won before now?

Starshine5050While Lupita’s speech was inspiring, I got to say I love a good schtick, so the composers and lyricists for Frozen was, in my opinion, the most charming. For worst, it’s definitely McConnaghey. That whole “My hero is me in ten years,” is such ungrateful crap.

ElessarI’d probably have named McConnaughey’s too, but literally the only thing I can remember from his speech was him actually saying “Alright, alright, alright,” and me wondering once again if I’m living in a bizarre satire of real life.

Starshine5050Sadly, that might turn out to be true. What did you think of the hosting job by Ellen Degeneres?

ElessarMeh. I usually like hosts who can be edgy or different and Ellen, god bless her, is nothing resembling edgy at this stage in her career. Robin Williams has been doing family films for over 2 decades at this point and he is STILL more capable of being edgy than she is. And goddammit, she didn’t do a female reinterpretation of “We Saw Your Boobs”- I was really hoping she would.

Starshine5050I also found her bland as all Hell. Not to mention the whole hosting from the crowd thing made it seem too casual and the pizza thing was not funny. You gave celebrities pizza. Where’s the joke? I usually think she’s pretty funny but this time around she fell flat.

ElessarYeah. I think there could have been some humor in that, but I think she was trying too hard to be audience friendly. I almost wish Murphy hadn’t walked off last year. Say what you will about his current (seriously, say what you will, I guarantee I’ve said worse) but his standup was freaking memorable.

Starshine5050Hopefully, we’ll have a host with a little more energy next year. So, worst moment of the show?

ElessarOh my, there’s so many to choose from. The selfie, that awful rendition of The Moon Song, Travolta mispronouncing Idina’s name…although we can’t get too mad about that. While we were still learning how to SPELL OUR NAMES…HE was being TRAINED…to conquer GALAXIES! But if I had to pick one that just floored me, it would be Will Smith, fresh off his bizarre cameo in Winter’s Tale and literally the same day as his Razzie win, coming out to hand out the big prize.

Why yes, I do take every opportunity to reference Battlefield Earth I can get, how did you know?

Why yes, I do take every opportunity to reference Battlefield Earth I can get, how did you know?

Starshine5050I have to say, with all honesty, the worst, most painful one was the Wizard of Oz tribute and the dumb joke after it. Seriously, nothing else felt so forced and unnecessary.

ElessarAgain, I pretty thoroughly memory holed that particular bit. Although I do remember being quite amused by hearing a speech from Man of Steel being played over a montage of movies that were nearly universally better than it.

Starshine5050There were so many montages this year. Who the Hell decided this show needed any MORE padding than usual?

ElessarI have no idea. Fewer montages, more actual Oscar clips. So I guess the takeaway is “Good winners, lame show.”

Starshine5050I don’t know if I’d say that exactly, as 3 out of the 6 winners of the big prizes were not, in my opinion, worthy. Any last thoughts?

ElessarWell I usually go for 8 big prizes (I include the screenplay awards) and since I have 5/8 ration (and the remaining 3 being merely ‘Meh’ instead of awful)…Hell I’ll take it. Personally, I’d like to see the nominees from 2014 be some of the weirder greats who have never won before. Cronenberg, Herzog and Gilliam all have movies out this year, lets see on of them win.

I'd make a joke about Herzog but...those eyes...they stare into my soul!

I’d make a joke about Herzog but…those eyes…they stare into my soul!

Starshine5050Sadly, I doubt that’ll happen. Honestly, this year isn’t one that’ll be remembered. It was bland, predictable in the worst way, and stuffed with unnecessary filler. Honestly, 2014 will probably be better.

So that’s it for this week’s rendition of Objection. Tune in next time when we’ll discuss more things we have no control over.

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Starshine5050

As just a regular, hard-working work, often-stressing, procrastination-mastering history and journalism student, I often turn to the silver and small screens for relief, even though I'm only an average cinema-and-television loving viewer, commenting on what, and does not, makes good entertainment. I love horror everything - book, TV shows, games, movies - even though they frighten me terribly. I'm a long time believer of the old saying "When life gives you lemons, don't take life's lemons! Give the lemons back!" So, onward I go, returning lemons and logging an unhealthy amount of screen time for your enjoyment. So please be sure to read my stuff and let me know what you think, I'm alway looking to improve and be the best, most cynical critic I can be!

Latest posts by Starshine5050 (see all)

Starshine5050

As just a regular, hard-working work, often-stressing, procrastination-mastering history and journalism student, I often turn to the silver and small screens for relief, even though I'm only an average cinema-and-television loving viewer, commenting on what, and does not, makes good entertainment. I love horror everything - book, TV shows, games, movies - even though they frighten me terribly. I'm a long time believer of the old saying "When life gives you lemons, don't take life's lemons! Give the lemons back!" So, onward I go, returning lemons and logging an unhealthy amount of screen time for your enjoyment. So please be sure to read my stuff and let me know what you think, I'm alway looking to improve and be the best, most cynical critic I can be!

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