As just a regular, hard-working work, often-stressing, procrastination-mastering history and journalism student, I often turn to the silver and small screens for relief, even though I'm only an average cinema-and-television loving viewer, commenting on what, and does not, makes good entertainment. I love horror everything - book, TV shows, games, movies - even though they frighten me terribly. I'm a long time believer of the old saying "When life gives you lemons, don't take life's lemons! Give the lemons back!" So, onward I go, returning lemons and logging an unhealthy amount of screen time for your enjoyment. So please be sure to read my stuff and let me know what you think, I'm alway looking to improve and be the best, most cynical critic I can be!

Oct 252014

It may feel like every single Stephen King work has already been adapted for TV or film, but in reality there are plenty of his novels and short stories that have never seen the silver or small screen. That doesn’t meant that these works are less deserving or bad, it just means that Hollywood hasn’t gotten its hands on those sweet, sweet rights yet. Here are 6 of those works that deserve to someday see their narratives visualized in digital HD.

stephen king

You will pay to see every single thing this man has written. It’s basically a must.

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Oct 172014

Haunted house stories are typically pretty simple: a group of people enter a home, are confronted by angry spirit and either flee for their lives or are killed for their ignorance/arrogance. If there’s one person though who could turn the tropes on their heads, it would be Stephen King. But can he actually make a scary haunted house story without falling into the same trappings as before? Or at least make those trappings a little more interesting?

Let’s take a look at Rose Red.

Red Rose Poster Continue reading »

Oct 102014

Stephen King’s works have inspired lots of kinds of media, from music, TV shows, films, and yes, terrible, terrible sequels. Typically only lightly linked back to King’s original works, these sequels typically work off an original script written by people who couldn’t write themselves out of a haunted paper bag. Case in point, Richard Outten who is the writer of this nightmare also wrote the Little Nemo movie and Journey 2: The Mysterious Island. This is going to be a particularly bad one.

Let’s take a look at Pet Sematary Two.

pet sematary 2 poster

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Oct 092014

Starshine5050: Hello everyone and welcome to another Objection! As ever-present as a zombie horde, I’m Starshine!

Guyinthe3rdrow: And like an erratically timed straight-to-video sequel, I’m the Guy in the Third Row.

Starshine5050: Today, in honor of the best holiday of the year (Halloween) we’re going to be talk about whether genre-savvy horror movie characters work. Care to start us off, Guy?

I would totally put money on the Sugarplum Fairy.

Pictured: The guy who makes his living making sure the population in any given horror film dies horrifically. For the record, yes, he DOES love his work.

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Oct 072014

For big groups with multiple members, often people will leave without disbanding the entire group to pursue careers in music, modeling or acting. These revolving door groups tend to commemorate these departures with special songs that celebrate this bittersweet occasion, typically either giving the singer leaving her own single or singing a song about her. Morning Musume ’14′s Sayumi Michishige gets both, but since her solo single plays a lot on her cutesy-wootsey persona that makes my ears bleed, I’m going to go with the other one.

Let’s listen to Mikaeri Bijin (A Looking Back Beauty) by Morning Musume ’14.

mikaeri bijin morning musume cover Continue reading »

Oct 032014

Welcome to the very first installment of Stephen King month. Why? Because I run this column and I’ll spend the rest of my time on here speaking about all the hidden Hitchcock cameos if the mood strikes me. Also it’s October, what else were we going to talk about?

Stephen King’s works are often best known for their film and mini-series adaptations than for the novels themselves, which have blown minds with their quality, in both senses. While we will always remember Kubrick’s The Shining and the original Carrie but there are definitely a few of these adaptations that deserve a second chance to fill audiences with awe and terror. Usually I’m not a big fan of remakes but sometimes they are for the better, and these six instances would be some of those times.

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