Starshine5050

As just a regular, hard-working work, often-stressing, procrastination-mastering history and journalism student, I often turn to the silver and small screens for relief, even though I'm only an average cinema-and-television loving viewer, commenting on what, and does not, makes good entertainment. I love horror everything - book, TV shows, games, movies - even though they frighten me terribly. I'm a long time believer of the old saying "When life gives you lemons, don't take life's lemons! Give the lemons back!" So, onward I go, returning lemons and logging an unhealthy amount of screen time for your enjoyment. So please be sure to read my stuff and let me know what you think, I'm alway looking to improve and be the best, most cynical critic I can be!

Dec 142012
 

Ladies and gentlemen, I know you were probably hoping for a dark Christmas classic this week, but sadly, finals have destroyed my life, so this will have to do instead!

You know, when a song blows up huge and I mean manages to top the Oricon charts (Japan’s incredibly highly competitive music ranking charts) means good things. When the same act gets that honor twice in a row, it’s a signal to milk the popularity for all it’s worth. And man, with Paparazzi and Oh! reaching the top slots as quickly as they did, SMTown would be crazy not to take this fad for all its worth. But does that necessarily mean that this new single is a song of that seem breed, or it is the beginning of the end for this string of Japanese-only tracks? Let’s  take a listen to Flower Power by Girls Generation.

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Dec 072012
 

There’s no beating around the bush: Christmas does not lend itself to horror or sci-fi. Let’s be honest guys, we’re all (probably) adults, we know that there’s nothing scary or mystical about Christmas except for how sick you can get of those damn songs and how many people get trampled during Black Friday. It’s the holiday of warm and fuzzies and mass consumerism. So why do directors insist on making these holiday horror and sci-fi films? What’s the appeal as a subject?

I’m not one to beat a zombie horse, but I guess I got to spell it out for future movie makers so we can stop this ridiculous trend. Christmas is cheesy enough as it is, we don’t need these polluting the pine-needle-scented air anymore.

NO SANTA. NO MURDERING FOR YOU. STOP IT.

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Nov 302012
 

No, dammit! TIS NOT CHRISTMAS YET! I refuse to do Christmas movies until December 1 hits, and that’s not til tomorrow! NO CHRISTMAS MOVIE REVIEWS FOR YOU!

Sadly, this also means my choices for relevant movies are equally as tiny. I mean the only thing playing that would even remotely fit the category of this respectable column would be the last Twilight movie or Life of Pi. If you don’t already understand why that first one isn’t an option, please go outside and interact with the world so you can see why people think it’s a “classic love story.” If so, warning, be prepared to be shocked. While Life of Pi isn’t as intellectually insulting as the first,  doesn’t seem like my cup of tea. There’s also The Collection, but come on guys, I need to be able to sleep to write these things, and I can’t do that while I’m plagued by nightmares!

So what did I choose to fuel my horrible dreams instead? Why the first half decent thing I could find on Netflix. Paranormal Activity 3 it is. 

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Nov 252012
 

Ah, Christmas time. Yes, once November 1st rolls in, Christmas preparations begin. But while we go out, shop for presents, and stress about non-denominational wrapping paper, the pop world puts out lots of Christmas/Winter Wonderland themed songs. And the Japanese pop industry is no exception. So when I saw that one of the only singles that have recently come out with full music videos was all Christmas and snow themed, you can bet I jumped on it to start off the holiday season.

So, hey, let it snow, and have yourself a merry little end-of-November, and let’s take a listen to Samui Ne, (It’s Cold, isn’t it?) by S/Mileage.

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Nov 232012
 

You know when you go out and drink a few too many drinks, and you wake up the next morning, asking yourself “Why did I think that was such a good idea?” over and over as your head pounds like a drum? Yeah, I get that feeling everytime I see a bad horror movie. As you can guess, I tend to avoid them as much as I can. Case and point, for years I stayed as far away from the Saw films as humanly possible. Why? Cause all it looked like torture porn and mindless violence and “deep” philosophy that would wind up nowhere because it was just meant to try and justify the torture and violence. And most of the time, I’d be right.

But oddly enough, not this time. When someone finally forced me to sit down actually watch the first three movies in one sitting as part of a Halloween charity event (these are the things I do, people, don’t question it) and I realized how wrong I was. So whether you’re a believer, or a doubter, let’s discuss the merits (and yes, pitfalls) of the Saw series of movies.

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Nov 162012
 

There are certain icons of pop culture who permeated the collective consciousness at every level of society, especially those characters who have jumped from page to screen. One concrete example of this is Sherlock Holmes, famed detective of Scotland Yard made famous by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. Ian Fleming’s creation of super-spy-love-machine-extraordinaire James Bond, aka Agent 007, is another.

For decades, James Bond movies have captured the hearts of men and women across the globe as a figure of the golden age of espionage and intrigue, a man who dressed in a tuxedo, carried a gun, and never had his martinis stirred. Played by many of the most prolific actors in all of cinematic history, including the great Sean Connery, there’s no short supply for quality tales of sex, guns, and global peril for the big screen. But many old school fans of the genre are not as pleased with the recent Daniel Craig series of movies which have come out in the last few years, for lacking that particular 007 touch. But now that the latest film has just hit theaters, what will the reaction be?

Let’s take a look at Skyfall.

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Nov 092012
 

Once upon a time, kung fu movies were huge in the United States, despite poor dubbing, and less than quality camera work. An entire generation was exposed not only to the unique styles of Asian cinema, but also to a culture that before was portrayed by incredibly stereotypical characters and white actors in yellow face (for the most part). So when this generation grew up, they of course wanted to pay homage to the movies that inspired them. Two such men are acclaimed director Quentin Tarantino, and Hip-hop megastar/actor RZA (pronounced Ri-Zah for the unintiated). But where as Tarantino’s Kill Bill is regarded as one of the great modern-era martial arts epics, how does the RZA’s debut film hold up?

Let’s take a look at The Man with the Iron Fists.

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Nov 052012
 

Ah, Morning Musume. You try and you try to make popular songs. Hell, you were even pretty close to a super-hit with One Two Three. While the group has always maintained a semblance of some popularity in Japan, it’s easy to see how slowly the unit has been slipping from the popular consciousness. But with another line up change on the way, “momusu” has yet another chance to try and gain some fans. Will this single prove their worth or be just another addition to the linage of forgotten singles?

Let’s take a look at their 51st single, Wakuteka Take a Chance.

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Nov 022012
 

Making a classic film tends to be one of the motivations of most directors. Sometimes it happens by accident, sometimes it’s incredibly obvious that the film was made to win Oscars. In the horror genre, films aren’t so much remembered for the scares once decades have gone by, but for what kind of story they tell, and how well they tell it. Horror film classics tend to be thoughtful pieces on the human psyche, like Psycho, or tell engaging and suspenseful narratives, like Rosemary’s Baby. But do all horror movie classics hold up to this standard?

Let’s check out one such film, the Korean horror classic Janghwa, Hongryeon or A Tale of Two Sisters.

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Oct 262012
 

Sleeper hits come in all shapes and sizes. Be it a movie about four guys who get incredibly wasted in Vegas and have to find their friend before the wedding, or the mega anime hit of 2011, Puella Magi Madoka Magica. The anime follows the tale of young Madoka Kaname, a second-year junior high student who gets thrown into the very messed up world of magical girls, witches, wishes, and aliens. The show has become one of the most beloved series in all of fandom, with fans and merchandise spanning across the globe. But now that the first two films have been released stateside, how does the rehash of the entire 12 episode series hold up as a cinematic venture?

Let’s take a look at Puella Magi Madoka Magica Part 1: Beginnings and Part 2: Eternal.

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