With Valentine’s Day almost here, I figured I’d try and help out everyone who’s thinking about relationships. I’ve figured out that there are seven different types of people everyone is destined to come across and possibly even date. This list compares those people to famous superheroes, so without further ado let’s dive in!
1. The Superman
He’s everything you could want: handsome, kind, intelligent, and always there when you need him. Everything seems perfect at first, until you realize it’s too good to be true. When you think about it, you realize he never talks about his past, or where he’s always running off to. In the end, he’s just keeping too many secrets and, unless you can commit to him for life, you’ll never learn them.
2. The Batman
This guy’s even better than the first! He’s got all of the other one’s great qualities, and he’s rich! Of course, this guy seems to enter periods of extended brooding, especially if he hears the words “mom” or “dad” or any version thereof. He also has this weird tendency to hang around with teenaged boys…it may be better to end the relationship before you find out something you’d rather not know.
3. The Wolverine
Wow, what a badass! This guy is ripped, rugged, and tough! Sure, he may be a little on the short side (pun intended) but he makes up for it with grit and gumption. He may seem overly tough, but he’s got a soft side too. The problem? He only started going after you once you became serious with someone else, and he’ll lose interest shortly after you dump your previous ex for him.
4. The Captain America
He loves his job and that’s a fact! If this guy’s that passionate about his work, and his country, surely he gives 110% to his relationships, right? Well, you’d think so, but instead he’s always hanging out with his friends. He comes home late from “battling evil” but you know he’s just been relaxing at his secret clubhouse with his old buddies.
5. The Iron Man
This one’s a tech junkie, so he’s got brains to go along with charm. Of course, sometimes he gets so wrapped up in his latest toy that everything else takes a back seat. Also, when he gets stressed, his first act is to turn towards the bottle…not the best guy to spend too much time with. At least he’s got a good sense of humor!
6. The Green Arrow
As a grassroots organizer and community service guru, this guy’s got a big heart. He’ll always step in to help out someone in a jam and constantly works to make his community a better place to live. Despite all that, he still makes time for you and always has the sweetest compliments. It won’t be long, however, before he starts making excuses for why he’s out late, and then you discover that he’s been cheating on you.
7. The Punisher
He’s older, but that just means he’s wiser and understands life better. He has a stable job…not that he really likes talking about it. He’s kind of a loner, which means you don’t have to worry about him spending more time with his friends than you. Be warned, however: the first guy who makes a pass at you is going to win up on the receiving end of an ass-kicking from this guy…and walk away if he’s lucky.
So there you have it! These are the types you’ll inevtiably encounter (and should probably avoid) as we head towards Valentine’s Day! Damn, the more I think about it, dating superheroes really isn’t a good idea! All of these guys have major issues.